Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
