I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
