HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
