I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
God, I missed his penis.
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