A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
