so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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