First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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