would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
