Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
