Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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