you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize