Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
