Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
