i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I wish i was in the wii world.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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