Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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