Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
