Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
