you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
