can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Randomize
