Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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