we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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