fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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