Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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