You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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