Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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