so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize