doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
