1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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