I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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