have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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