So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
