The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
