Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
sex in a hospital.. check
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
