I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
