Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My ass is underappreciated
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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