Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
