the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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