You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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