man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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