Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
