If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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