that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
