I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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