you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
