Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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