I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
