ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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