PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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