do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
