How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize