when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
