im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We got so high we made milksteak
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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