A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
