You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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