It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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