Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
