why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
