I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
