i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
