Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
